Becoming Unapologetic.


Massive Stars in NGC 6357 Source, Johanness Schedler

It’s a very attractive feature of a person. Them doing something, or behaving in such a way without caring about others perceptions of them. Without hesitation or confusion. Complete confidence in the direction they are going. That’s what I look for. That’s what I find attractive.

Even people that we might disagree with become attractive due to their unapologetic nature. Most leaders we look up to have this characteristic. It seems to seep out of them. They know who they are, and where they are going. I think we all look up to that. We spend so much of our time making sure that we’re not ‘showing off’, that we act in a way which makes us appear weak or lost. Society tells us that if we have anything, if we are accomplished, or in the process of being accomplished, then we must not display the fruits of our labor. That body you’re sculpting, or that business deal you just closed should not be shown to the public.

“You must be humble and have empathy with people who have less than you. Don’t say this and don’t say that. Relate to others and keep them comfortable. No, of course you can’t say that you had sex with a beautiful woman, or that you are winning in life. It’s rude to say how things are. How they really are. Are you taking a picture of your body? Oh you’re so vain!”

These are the thoughts that we have day-to-day. We don’t want to reveal our true thoughts and intentions as people might not like them. To really speak our mind and be free will undoubtedly have serious consequences.  You’re taking a risk when you speak your mind, when you show off where you are at. People like to see the destruction of those that are successful. We like to both build up and tear down others.

Most people in mainstream society are voyeurs. They like to watch and comment from the sidelines. But when you’re a voyeur, you’re not engaging in life.  You’re not actually taking life very seriously. Life is an opportunity, and what you do with it is up to you. Those that are unapologetic seem to view the world in a different way. They accept themselves and live without regret. They speak with full conviction. They are not apologizing for being alive. For fucking up. For being human.

When someone asks “What did you do last weekend?” they will just say what they actually did. “I spent my time sitting at home, masturbating and crying myself to sleep”. Or they could say “I went for a hike, then went out to the club, did some coke and ended up having a threesome”. Whatever the answer, it is always refreshing to hear someone say what they actually did, without hesitation or some form of self-censorship. It’s OK if your life is uninteresting. It’s still your life, and you can live it whatever way you want. But don’t expect others to conform to your way of living.

Most people think of themselves as open minded. They think they are truly OK with letting others be themselves. You know, the whole “Live and Let live” mentality. However, we all know this is bullshit. Why is it that we still have to be “professional” at work? Why can’t we just talk about things as they actually are? I don’t mean that you have to say every single thing that happened. But to simply answer questions truthfully and have conversations that are not a mutual exchange of pseudo-truth, sprinkled with trivialities. No. have conversations with that contain substance.

They don’t have to be all “deep” either. You can just say silly, stupid things and laugh about it all. Being someone who is unapologetic appeals to me because it’s someone’s true expression. It takes very little work to figure someone out when they are unapologetic. You don’t have to dig around, wait a few months and slowly find out what they are actually like. No. With someone who is unapologetic you find out very quickly what they are like. And chances are, you’ll like them. Most people in the world are great. They are considerate, kind and simply wonderful.

Maybe if they just stopped apologizing for being themselves, then they would connect more with others and others would connect more with them. Yeah, I think I’m going to be unapologetically me. I hope you will too.


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